[00:00:00] They didn't yell, they didn't explain. They just left. And now you're the mom. You're stuck with this silence and a heartful of questions completely normal. But if you're that mom trying to make sense of why your adult child abandoned you without a word, this message is for you today. I have four points I wanna share with you in regards to this.

And what I've experienced and also in all the clients that I have helped. So let's dive in.

Number one is the pain of the unfinished stories. when your adult child walks away without warning, that pain is indescribable, You are left reliving the memories. desperate for clarity. trying to figure it all out. when there's no final conversation, just this door that quietly closed on you, that's the kind of loss that is invisible to the world, but not to you.

other people are not going to understand [00:01:00] this, Because It makes no logical sense for any of us. But want you to know that even if you didn't get closure from them, you can give yourself the compassion and care that you've been waiting for from them. you need to give it to yourself because your story doesn't end in silence.

It has to evolve in strength. And you may be thinking, I don't wanna do that right now. And I don't blame you. But at the end of the day, the only way you are ever gonna get any closure. And I do believe that you will hear from your son or daughter again, I don't know when it'll be.

That is a battle that is not yours, and we're gonna talk about that in a minute. Your job right now is taking care of you, are you still searching for that reason or the moment? That might explain it all. Most moms are, and you may not get that answer for a while, but we have to be able to move forward in the process.

Number two is. This is a big one. Their silence is not always about you. And to a mom who has given everything, raised their children, [00:02:00] been the best mom that they could be. That doesn't make any sense. And so we think, oh, we must have done something. it's human nature to take that silence as a personal attack.

many of your sons and daughters simply cannot face their own pain. And for them, avoiding a conversation is easier than confronting an old wound, even if it leaves you an agony and that does not make their actions. Okay? But I hope it can help you let go of some of the shame.

And the thing is, is as a mom, you may not know what it is that they are in pain about. You may or may not know. I wanna let you know that this whole silent situation is not a verdict on your motherhood. It is not a verdict on what kind of a mom you were. Their avoidance speaks to their fear, not your failure.

Let me say that again. Their avoidance to you speaks to [00:03:00] their fear, not your failure. You still have value and you still matter. I want you to think about that. Could their silence be a reflection of their internal struggle, not your worth, but their own self-worth? if you are tired of feeling stuck in confusion and shame, let's talk.

I have a discovery call. It's a one-on-one space for you and I to explore your story a little bit and your pain. But it is reserved for moms who are ready to begin a coaching process. if that's not you right now, keep the link for the future when you are contemplating and wanting to learn more.

Because this is not about fixing them, it's about looking in the mirror and focusing and learning about yourself and navigating what that future road is right now, whether it's whether you're with them or not. You have to feel whole again. the link for the discovery call is in the show notes below. Number three is the stories that we make up. How many of you have [00:04:00] made up some stories in your mind? Some may have been real life stories, but I'm sure we added to it. Those hurt the most because when you don't have any answers and your mind starts filling in the blanks, those blanks turn into heavy burdens that keep you up at night, that give you the ruminating thoughts.

Or you may hear thoughts like, I ruined everything, or I must have failed as a mother, or, I should have never said this or that. Those thoughts aren't truth. They're trauma echoing through your heart. yes, there are things that we could very clearly say, wow, I wish I would've never said that. I wish I wouldn't have done that.

'cause you're human and every mom has some of those. just because your mind whispers pain doesn't mean it's speaking truth. So be very careful know. Know what voices is in your head because we have to interrupt that story and speak some grace over yourself, regardless of the truth.

So I would encourage you to ask [00:05:00] yourself, what story are you believing about yourself that might be rooted in pain, not reality? I think we all have them. So I want you to think about that today. And lastly, you know what? You can heal without an apology. Your healing does not require their permission or participation.

You can choose peace without a conversation, and you can write that new chapter without their explanation. It's not easy, but it's possible because you are allowed to heal for you, not for them. I want to encourage you today that there is a future out there waiting for you with joy and healing and strength.

No matter what they choose, no matter how long this takes, you have to be okay in the waiting. So I want you to stop waiting for their apology and start claiming your own healing. I hope that helps you today. we'll see you in the next episode. God bless.